That b%tch Goldielocks!

YO!

You ever had one of them days where you just want to karate chop people in the Adam's apple for no apparent reason other than them breathing? I find myself having these days more frequently. I sort of had one of those days today, but found solace in my inner being. I had gone grocery shopping in the suburbs the other weekend, which is quite a different experience than grocery shopping in Brooklyn or New York City (and please, feel free to read the inference of systemic racism between the lines, or not). Produce is actually the color it is supposed to be, meat is actually the color it is supposed to be. The even had pick up at the deli counter. You could place your deli order, then when your order was complete, they would announce that the order is ready for pick up (at your leisure, of course) over the loud speaker. Now that is good living. I picked up the household necessities, and I bought myself veal cutlets and FRESH mozzarella cheese so that I could make veal parmigiana. And to go along with it, I bought the softest french bread, even softer than my next door neighbors. My mouth just waters thinking about it. Well, the solace that I wrote about earlier was going to be dinner, veal parmigiana and french bread.

Upon my arrival this evening, I transformed into the chef that I am. I seasoned and breaded the cutlets, sliced the fresh mozzarella ever so thin as to enjoy the taste of the cheese, the sauce and the veal. What a medley! Then, I went to where I'd left my french bread. To my chagrin, the package had been opened and three fourths of the bread was gone. That bitch GOLDIELOCKS had broken into my house.......or was it my wife. I went into the bedroom to question, no, to interrogate my wife because a crime had been committed. I asked my wife, "Bub, did you eat any french bread?" She immediately gave me that look, that over the glasses, NEGRO PLEASE look. "No", she replied. "Not today, or you didn't have at all since I bought it?". "NO!"

SO, who the fugg ate my porridge? It was that bitch GOLDIELOCKS! And I am so gone......and hungry....and gone......