I hope this reaches you in the best of health, spirits and breath. There aint nothing (yes double negatives from an English major) worse than bad breath. Actually, there is - that BEST friend or acquaintance that has halitosis. We all have em...a very good friend whose breath smells like a sick emu shat in their mouth (and being that I know that most of you are wondering what the hell an EMU is, I've included a picture). Morning, noon and night - it's like their breath is so bad you can actually see it, during the day, when the sun is shining, or at night, like Los Angeles smog. And for some reason, they ALWAYS want to talk to you in CLOSE proximity to your face. Now I understand why some people's eyelashes are so short; I used to think it was some gross deformity or some auto-immune disease. Now I know. One of my co-workers, love him like a fresh vegetable, but I'll be damned if I dont want him to get silicone cheek implants filled with industrial strenght Listerine and Clorox. He should pay a midget to mop his tongue every 15 minutes. Woooooo.....brush your breath with Dentyne muh fugga! Anyway, let me stop the madness. Continue on people. Love life.
and I'm gone......
1 comment:
I know someone like that!!!! I can't stop laughing... I've tried to hold my breath or turn away pretending to look at something else. Once, I was talking to a colleague and no matter how many half steps back I took, he took a full step forward - towards me! After a few minutes, I started to feel sick. I feel sick thinking about it now...
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