For the record, pork is pork, beef is beef, fish is fish, and poultry is poultry. Please DONT ever ask me if I want turkey bacon. What the hell is turkey bacon? Did a turkey and a pig have intimate relations? I need to know. And I swear on Daniel Day-Lewis' left foot that if anyone ever tries to feed me "tofurkey", I will continously thrash them about head and shoulders with said tofurkey and a bag full of rusty buffalo head nickels. Seriously, who thought up meatless meat?
Anyway, on a lighter note, and especially since I've already written a similar post, I digress into the Plaxico Burress situation. First of all, who in THEE FUGG, not to be confused with the fugg, named this man? What the fugg is a Plaxico? Did his momma sneeze when they asked her what she was going to name him? Imagine.....
Dr: "Ma'am, so what are you going to name the baby Burress"
Mrs. Burress: "ACHOOOOOPLAXICO"
Dr. "God bless you. Now repeat that for me"
C'mon dude, really, how are you going to get into trouble and your first name is Plaxico? Now you have reporters all over the country fuggin up the newscasts trying to pronounce your damn name. And Chedda Bob Burress, if you havent been shamed enough, you shot yourself. You SHOT YOURSELF! What kinda teammate is Antonio Pierce? Wasnt he there with you? If I were with one of my friends, and said friend shot themself, I would take the fall, if for nothing else than to make the story more plausible and less assholish. Plax, just put some tofurkey on that gunshot wound and you'll be ok....
and I'm gone.....to the roof!
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