Brangelina, Gay couples, and adoption.

Good morning Vietnam!  Yes, I am BACK on U.S. soil and glad to be here once again.  My vacation was great and it was much needed.  I need to quickly devise a scheme (plan) that will make me a multi-millionaire whose money works for him so I can take transcontinental jaunts at the drop of a dime.  While I was gone, several celebrities passed away.  What the hell is up with all these people dying recently? -- Bernie Mac, Isaac Hayes, Congresswoman Tubbs-Jones, Gene Upshaw (president of the NFL Players Association), and SHO NUFF, the shogun of Harlem (from the Last Dragon, if you know not what I speak of, backhand yourself immediately and with force).  May they all rest in peace.  We all need to take time to do what he have and need to do so that we can do what we want to do.  I may bitch and complain from time to time, but hell, I'm NOT ready to go just yet.  In quoting the rapper Nas, "Life's a bitch, but God forbid that bitch divorce me".

[insert awkward transition here]

Ok, onto the subject of this blog.  Brangelina and all them gott damn rainbow coalition kids.  I'm sorry, but I just cant keep count of how many she has (mostly cuz I dont give a FLYING FUCKERY).  I know she just had twins and she adopted the lil Ethiopian girl and lil Asian boy and there are some more in the mix somewhere.  But WHY oh WHY do lily white Angelina and Brad want to adopt other races, ethnicities, nationalities?  Not saying that they shouldnt.....as a matter of fact, I applaud them for being responsible and caring enough to take on the challenge.  But with all the complexities of being a minority in America, how are they going to cope, comfort, explain and/or empathize with [insert lil Ethiopian Brangelina adoptee name here]  when she comes home from school and tells them that someone called her a nigger?  How are they going to cope, comfort, explain and/or empathize with [insert lil Asian Brangelina adoptee name here] when he comes home from school and tells them that someone called him a gook?  How are they going to cope, comfort, explain and/or empathize or deal when [insert lil Ethiopian Brangelina adoptee name here ] and  [insert lil Asian Brangelina adoptee name here] get into an argument and start calling each other all types of niggers and gooks?  God forbid their natural children get into the fracas, then it'll be niggers, and honkeys and gooks, OH MY!!!!! 

And, I was watching some program with a lesbian couple, when one turned to the other and said, "I want to have children with you".  Yeah, I'd like to see that too as you BOTH HAVE VAGINAS.  She should have said that she wanted to RAISE kids with her partner.  With regard to adoption, is that healthy....having two moms or two dads?  Sure, you are putting a child in a home and taking a child out of "the system", but is the trade off the years of therapy that the kids will need from that one time when he/she opened mom & mom's or dad & dad's bedroom door (not that it cant happen with a hetero couple, but for my blogs sake, let me embellish), or the non-stop ribbing they will get from classmates.  Kids are cruel sumbiches and if your classmates know that you have 2 moms or two dads, that's like giving (this gott damn $3.87 per gallon) gasoline to a pyromaniac. 

What say you about this?  

Testimonial...from the high seas

Hey all...its now 6:26pm, Wednesday August 13, 2008, in the year of our lord. Right now, I'm on a cruise ship somewhere between Mexico and the Cayman Islands. And for what its worth, sometimes you just gotta take time out to praise God. Yes, this heathen is thanking the Lord for his manu blessings; health, wealth, wisdom, family, friends. I am fortunate enough to be on this cruise, to have a good job, to be behind in my rent and still have a roof over my head. I am blessed and and I know God and Jesus are holding me down.

And Lord, I am asking you for forgiveness now because I'm sure you'll prolly think a lot less of me come my next post about foreigners who work on U.S. cruise ships.

Amen...and I'm gone.....

Top 4 reasons why BIG girls shouldnt wear bikinis

Greetings people. I am currently sunning myself on a cruise of the western caribbean, and may I tell you, this cruise is a source of inspiration. Check out my top 4 reasons big girls should NOT, under any circumstances, wear bikinis:
4. Your weight is over 100 lbs on ametric scale.
3. Your stomach and it's dimples can be mistaken for an angry face.
2. Your rolls have kids and grandrolls.
1. It's just plain nasty!

The Difference between Black People and White People

I bet you thought I would write some profound, major innate difference between Black people and White people, but, sorry to bust your BUBBLE, there really is no difference. Yes, there are subtle nuances that make each race unique but at the end of the day, we are all human. But, I do have a few questions that I would like answered:

• Why do White people all yell that same "WOOOOOOOOOOO" yell, especially White women? I mean, a White person could be at a funeral for a deceased relative and hear the priest say, "He lived as a decent, humble man", and someone in the pews would break out with that "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!". Do y'all go to school to learn that or is that part of your genetic composition?


• How come Black people have "ALL-WHITE parties" all damn summer long? Damn, can we think of something else....maybe an all PURPLE AND GOLD party or something? And what if a White person showed up naked? Could you really fault them?

I have more questions, but right now, they escape me. I will be back.

The Post office and neighborhood supermarkets

Good people, can someone please explain to me why certain supermarkets and post offices have 50-11 check out aisles and retail service windows respectively, YET, there will only be 2 staff members manning aisle/window #1 and aisle/window #5 ?  And there are usually about 10 other cashiers/staffers who work there in the supermarket/post office but they are on break, or just walking around, eating, or talking some BULLSHIT about another absent employee.  The above picture is the post office located on 125th Street in Harlem.  The picture was taken with my cell phone, hence the poor quality; that and I was rushing to take the picture.  I didn't want the powers that be in the post office to think I was an urban terrorist, taking pictures of a possible target, --like I would want to blow up the post office in Harlem...I'd rather blow up some of the housing projects but that's another post-- so in lieu of being tackled to the ground and beaten with a stack of $.23 cent stamps and bubble wrap, I took a bad pic (forgive me).  But notice (if you can) in the pic, aint a MUTHA fugga working those gott damn windows.  SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIT (a la Sen. Clay Davis).

and I'm gone..............